A Pleasure of Life

Hello!

Yes my Ol' Three Faithful Readers, I have not written because I have been absorbed by a non-existant universe called World of WarCraft. It is very funny, because in a way it is like another life, in the sense that you get to pick out professions your character can do which enables you to set up an item/services store for other characters; you can make relationships with other people; you could quest, etc. Basically you can do pretty much what you do in real life. You can even take the clothes off your character and set him to dance with the /dance command.

And yes, you can get paid virtual money for it.

But that is not the point, and even if it were I do not expect you, my Ol' Three Faithful Readers to be interested in the geekyness of that business. I'm here to talk to you about one of the greatest pleasures of life; it is so great it can even be ranked up there with hardcore, rude, kinky, sweaty, undiscriminated sex. I'm talking about diarrhea.

Yes, you read right. Diarrhea is one of the greatest pleasures of life. The more explosive the better. Think about it, it is even a twofold pleasure! You get to enjoy eating all that food; enormous, gigantic and jurassic amounts of tasty, sweet food that can barely fit in your stomach. The bacon, jam, nerds, salad, turkey, cheese, everything! And you enjoy it, you enjoy eating food like a pig, as if there was no tomorrow coming and this was the last time you will eat in your whole existance.

Gluttony may be a sin, but it is one of the most enjoyable (along with lust, hehehe).

And then, after all that: the gurgle in your stomach. You find yourself in the car, driving back home after eating all you could from the buffet by the school; you have to make the best out of those $6.99 you paid! Trying to calm yourself, you think it was not your stomach gurgling, but maybe a bumb in the street... yes, that is right, a bump. *insert nervous laugh* Absent minded you continue to drive a little and come to a stop light. Something moves in your belly, something liquid, something explosive. Urgently you beg the light to turn green, now!

Finally it does, and you step on it. Power to the metal. Friggin' old lady driving at 30 miles per hour; a student driver barely controlling the car; a trucker and the mom taking the car pool of kids to the football game. But alas! You reach home, and the explosive volcano inside of you is not only gurgling but treating with exploding right now, right there and then. You run as fast as you can with your buttocks pressed together as tight as you can to the restroom. Aaaaah, finally, it is there. Salvation.

No! Your sister is inside! It cannot be! Frantically you search for a cork, something to stop the eminent explosion from happening for a while longer. Hand beating down on the door; curses filling the air. It moves again, inside you, the diarrhea is coming to its explosive end at the hallway. Ah, your sister comes out with a thousand word stare in her eyes. You enter the restroom, and as you are taking your pants down you can feel the monster inside yell: "LET ME OUT NOW!" By the gods! The zipper got stuck! Hold it, hold it! Press tighter! There, it's fixed, pull the underwear down and just as your behind cheeks touch the dead, ceramic toilet, it explodes. BANG! SPLASH!

Relief. Pleasure.

Need I say more? We have all been there. I know it, you know it.