The Bubble

Hello.

Much has happened in this time my Ol' Three Faithful Readers. I actually wrote around three blogs but later had to reformat my computer and I, being the absent minded person that I am, forgot to back them up as well as other stuff... meh... it is not like it has not happened before... many times.

Have my fans seen 40 Year Old Virgin already? Do not worry, you do not need to have seen it to understand this post. Suffice it to say that there, our 40 year old virgin, is mainly a geek; a well intentioned, well mannered guy. For the sake of simplicity I will steer away from all the "Women like bad boys" / "Nice guys finish last" type of post. The interesting thing here is that there are only two moments in the whole movie when they actually make our good old, modern time sexual hero, Andy, really angry. He hears up in this special mood and attitude that without saying a single word just oozes that extreme angerly vibe that inspires fear in the poor souls that gaze upon him. Just like that, Andy walks down an avenue not even glancing to see the cars passing by. As if by an act of the Powers That Be, no car runs him over, and the only car in a direct trajectory to run him over stops right there and then. From personal experience I know this actually happens.

I even have a name for it: "Emotion/Anger Sphere."

For those of you who know something about theater, you might have read about Stan's Affective Memory schitt and how one can proyect a certain emotion and attitude without saying a word; just by the way one walks, the way one stares at thing, the tone of the voice; the whole self. I believe all these things create a sphere around the person that people are able to perceive; and if the emotion is too strong, it can actually turn into a reality altering aura that not only affects the angry person but those around him. And sometimes the emotion, the anger, is so strong that other people stop in their tracks because they know they should not mess with the subject lest he explodes into rage.

Some unlucky, or lucky souls, have had the opportunity to have seen me in one such moment at different points in my life. Usually I call it a "Yearly Period" that I have around Easter - because all that love cannot be right. Normally it is just once a year. But this time... it seems it is here to stay. Lately I find myself inside my Emotion/Anger Sphere way to often; at times I go for several days straight inside that bubble waiting to burst. Not some minutes ago I crossed the street to get a hot dog from the convenience store across the street. In complete disregard for my well-being I crossed the street without looking; I kid you not, the cars seemed to go around me as if I had a protective shell.

Obviosly this "Emotion Sphere" is that, an emotion. Just as that emotion can be anger it can easily be happyness or whatever. But usually people, jealous, envious and egocentrical little pigs that we humans beings are, will burst other people's positive emotion spheres. And just like that stay away from bursting negative emotion spheres for the sake of their own well-being.

And well, honestly, I am waiting to burst. I really am just waiting for the wrong person to burst that bubble and unleash all those emotions bottled up on this poor soul without remorse and total abandon of any moral, ethical and political restrains until I, jealous, envious and egocentrical little pig of a human being that I am, feels so good and satisfied with my brethen's suffering. No. No, it should not be like that. One should always have people, friends, boy/girlfriends, family, whatever you want to call it, around to help you vent those things from time to time; to hold you; to cry upon; to talk with; to have fun with; to support you before that bubble becomes unmeasurable. Ah yes, would that not be nice?

As for me... well... you are not helping.